Sunday, March 21, 2010

[TEXT PRODUCTION] 1ST DRAFT


When our species Homo sapiens made his appearance on earth until the beginning of the industrial age, there are neither major climatic changes nor global warming occurring. However, over the past few centuries, this equilibrium was upset. There is a sustained increase in the average temperature of the earth’s atmosphere, where this phenomenon is known as global warming (Chris Woodford, 2006). The rate of increase in earth’s temperature in the last five decades has doubled the rate discovered over the last ten decades and it is believed that the temperatures are sure to step-up farther. (Holli Riebeek, 2007). Holli Riebeek also stated that scientists sieved through thousands of analyses regarding global warming issued in forums in the range of scientific journals to industry publications and drew out a conclusion of the world’s amassed knowledge as “Warming of the climate is unequivocal.” This situation would be catastrophic towards our mother nature and it is a major issue over many countries. Hence, it is vital to gain knowledge of what global warming and climate changes are, factors of global warming, and the impact of global warming have on Mother Nature and humanity.


From the introduction above, it is clear that global warming is due to the change in climate, but what is climate? It can be explained as:

'Climate is the pattern of weather in a particular place: how much sunlight and rainfall it gets, how windy it is, and so on. The world's weather is entirely powered by the Sun. Since Earth rotates on a tilted axis, different parts of our planet are heated by different amounts at different times of year, making some regions hotter than others and causing the seasons.' (Chris Woodford, 2006)

According to Chris Woodford, when we came forth the Ice Age, over five thousand years, the planet has warmed by five degrees centigrade. However, hotter temperatures will change the climate across the whole planet and it does not mean that the temperature will increase in every place as temperamental weather such as more hurricanes and storms, heavier downpour, more snow in certain regions, longer periods of drought, and more paramount heat waves (Chris Woodford, 2007). In other words, the earth may be hotter or cooler in some places.


Global warming is induced by greenhouse effect where greenhouse gasses such as carbon dioxide and methane covers the planet and it is important as it traps heat inside so that the planet will not be too cold (Chris Woodford, 2007). However, human activities over the past centuries have disrupted the natural greenhouse effect by worsening it. Chris Woodford indicates that burning of fossil fuels releases carbon dioxide which thickens the greenhouse gas and as a result, the Sun’s rays get trapped inside the atmosphere, thus temperature increases globally. Vehicles and industrial sites have eructed billions of tons of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere caused temperatures to ascent between 0.6°C and 0.9°C (1.08°F to 1.62°F) over the past century (Holli Riebeek, 2007). Chris Woodford presents evidence which shows that global warming would be getting worse:

'Currently, 80 percent of our energy comes from fossil fuels. According to the International Energy Institute, this could increase to 90 percent by 2020. '


The impacts of global warming are so wide that it changes the geographical landscape and affect the living things on earth. From the NASA image, the Larsen-B Ice Shelf on the Antarctic Peninsula can be seen collapsed due to global warming since the 1940s. Chris Woodford states that most serious impact of global warming is rise in sea level when oceans expand when they are warmed, melting of glaciers and also melting of sea ice in the North and South Poles. When the trapped sun ray absorbed by the oceans, it starts to increase the rate of melting of ice. (Al Gore, 2007). This would jeopardize low-lying countries facing the chance of submerging underwater. Al Gore also indicates that the polar bears in the arctic may not be able to survive in this kind of condition. Chris Woodford reports that series of more persistent El-NiƱo has increased three times more often than a century ago, floods are belike to hassle some countries and it is estimated that 100-200 million people would be homeless for good by year 2100. Forecast also states that pests and diseases will spread wider due to global warming as warm climates are more favourable for insect such as mosquitoes which pose risks to humanity by year 2100 (Chris Woodford). In addition, the outbreak of vectors for emerging infectious diseases such as SARS and tuberculosis is due to global warming (Al Gore 2007).


On the whole, although global warming is happening at a slow rate but the impact can be catastrophic towards our planet. The points stated by the sources clearly show that global warming happening in analogous to a poison without antidote. However, as said by Al Gore, ‘the solutions are in our hands, we just have to have the determination to make it happen.’ If people still do not put their foot down and look into this serious matter, the whole planet would be in chaos in the future.

1 comment:

  1. 1. Your introductory sentence shows that there was neither climate change nor global warming occurring in the past, which gives the reader some view points on what happened in the past and how has things changed. However, our main concern are the potential effects of global warming, so I would suggest that you can summarize the paragraph to make it shorter.

    2. Your thesis statement is clear and are connected to most of the topic sentences of the body paragraphs.

    3. Your paragraphs have quite a number of supporting details and examples. However, try to improve on the details.

    4. The paragraph that start with "global warming is induced...", I dont think that we need to focus on the causes of global warming because our main concern is the effects in terms of climate change.

    5. No.

    6. The conclusion summarizes the points but again it is too long.

    7. The citations are correct.

    8. I dont think there is any grammatical error present or any spelling mistakes.

    9. Yes, every area is covered.

    10. Additional comments:
    Your essay is more to the long side, try to cut down on words and summarize some of your ideas.

    Overall, good work!

    ReplyDelete